So, ex-boyfriends, what I’m saying to you is this: I know how a woman deserves to be treated. The list goes on, the evolution continues, the love switches slightly away from passion to compassion each day, yet deeper. Nurturing new mutual hobbies into middle-age as their common interests of youth start to fade. Giving her space with her friends or sisters. The biggest gift he gave me was how he loved (and still loves) my mom.

And I still own the gold ring he gave me, which I wore proudly for years to come. I can remember that my dad wasn’t quite finished signing my card by the time I returned from the washroom. I could still find the exact booth we sat in at local Red Robin. I can tell you the denim-on-denim outfit I wore, with the little ditsy print behind the buttons. My dad took me for a father/daughter date that I still remember vividly. When I was around six, things were hectic: a marriage, three kids, a business, illness in his kids, and every other (very valid) excuse in the book. When I was wrong or belligerent he reasoned with me and explained – I felt guided.When I joked he laughed, when I was sick he was strong, when I was hurt he cried – I felt supported.When my interests were different than his he watched patiently and proudly as I flourished – I felt respected.When a school friend hurt my feelings he listened – I felt understood.When the dark got scary at night he’d turn on the hallway light – I felt safe.When I was hungry he provided every meal – I felt secure.

When I felt inferior or defeated he reminded me of the power in my uniqueness – I felt unstoppable.

When I doubted myself and felt hopeless he reminded me of why I began – I felt inspired.

When I wanted to quit he pushed me firmly along – I felt driven.

When I was crying he’d let me unravel on his big shoulders – I felt my feelings were valid.

When I had a challenge he offered advice – I felt my problems were worthy of his time.

When I spoke he stopped and engaged – I felt interesting.

It was easy to see, and more importantly feel. Not in the spoiled-princess-who-gets-her-own-way type love, although that was occasionally the case.īut he truly loved me. Yeah, well, however you define it, I have the opposite. You’ve heard of “daddy issues?” The case where a little girl has a weak or absent father figure in her childhood, so spends her adult life running around searching for male validation? I think it’s time I explain something that I’ve realized through my time with each of you. However, with Father’s Day approaching, and my dad’s birthday being yesterday, I’ve been reflecting. If, by freak coincidence, I ended up in a room with all of you I’d probably keel over in a state of equal parts shock, embarrassment and nostalgia. It’s odd to loop the lot of you very different guys together.

Daddy issues meaning